TONELLA

oh if i had a...

2012-01-27T19:52:00.000-08:00

Oh if I had a brain.
If I had a brain.
I'd be cold as the stone and rich as the fool
who turned all those good hearts away.

I have to say, I really do love this song. Birdy (who I was turned on to be my ridiculously brilliant student in Toronto Sydney Delong ... go check her out, shes such a beautiful talent) is one of those singers that takes you by suprise. So a side effect of that is the songs she covers take me by suprise. This was one of those... so when someone requested it I said a-ok. Why not.

here 'tis.

x

two albums...oh my

2012-01-19T05:27:00.000-08:00

Lofty ambitions and the need to make up for a recordless year have dictated that there will be two albums out this year.

Laying cards on the table, I think its safe to say that in my own day to day life I exhibit a certain Jekyll and Hyde persona. That same quality tends to exude over to my world of music - and how could it not?

My love - first and foremost - is the heavier piano driven cabaret tunes. Its a tough call, because on one hand I realize that the market for this type of music is still being built. "This kind of music" doesn't really have a niche yet - it's too soon. And I think that's a great thing. Music is a many facetted mistress - what she wants from you, she probably does not want from me. And let's be honest, she always seems to want the weirdest things from me... never satisfied, always wanting more. Just like a woman - that evil muse. We've had this problem when we've played festivals or competitions - and that is that the judges do not know where to put us. After hearing this many times, I have felt like throwing in my keys and saying Fuck It. "Whom would you like me to sound like, oh Gracious music Lords? Tell me whom to copy, so that you can label this and give me a good score!". But really? REALLY? That's not my MO. And I think that there are people out there who relate and love the kind of music we are making. Just because they don't have a clip board and an expensive pen doesn’t make them matter less. It makes them matter MORE.

Artists like NIN, Tori Amos, Maynard, and The Dresden Dolls brought this type of music out of me, as before them I was still inside the shell of where I wanted to go. The group Evanescence came out and I knew that even though I liked them and the tunes Amy Lee and Ben Moody were making - there was a different plane that I wanted to go to that was beyond metal accompanied by the piano (I do still frown when people compare me to Amy - a girl and a piano do not an Evanescence make).

This was one of the reasons that there were no guitars in Dreaming In Red, or the live band up to that point. I did not want to fall in to that metal & piano pocket, as I knew that would be an easy place to live. I wanted... different. The cabaret element to the music that I wanted to build is partially there due to my love of theatrics. The dark burlesque coupled with traditional indie rock melodies and a dash of something new was where I wanted to steer the boat. I'm still on my way.

I think this new album is going to have more tones of blues-rock, dancing somewhere in the middle with the cabaret flavor in there. A little bit heavier in areas, but not the way you'd expect. Be afraid. ;)

My second Love - The folk/indie pop music with a dash of wistful. I think I write a lot of this material because I spend so many nights by my lonesome with a piano and an acoustic guitar. The folky soft tunes come naturally by the light of computer screens and insomnia.

I also think that my softer side has a chance to shine, the part of me that really has been honed since I was younger. Belting out to the piano by myself is just as comfortable to me now as sliding in to a pair of jogging pants (lets all be honest - jogging pants make the world a better place).

I want to continue to let that music out - and I want to build it. I foresee cellos, mandolins, acoustic guitars and drums with brushes.

In short, good things. All good things. I hope you guys are looking forward to the albums as much as I am.. it's going to be an interesting ride.

xxx
T

Be satisfied.

2012-01-05T06:23:00.000-08:00

Today is beautiful.

Yesterday's frustrations led to a new song, which led to a good night's sleep, which led to a happy T this morning. I have things looming but my inner zen master is kicking in and demanding that I enjoy the moment that is currently here.

So I'm doing just that. Caffeine in hand, pup at side, piano to my right and guitars to my left. It's the morning of coffee and silence.

Be satisfied.

x
Tonella

Roar. With Extreme Prejudice.

2012-01-04T16:42:00.000-08:00

So many indie artists, so little time.

I have a theory. For everything that you do, there is someone who is plotting a way to make money from it. Perhaps you will be one of the hard working and/or lucky ones, and you'll be the person to make money off of your own idea. Novel concept. For the most part, some poor shmo will dream something into being, and then a shmo in a suit will step in and rape it.

UNLESS

*drumroll*

You refuse to roll with the process.

But the world is designed around these catch 22's, where until you do this - you can't do that! But until you do that you can't do this !

Hello music business. I didn't miss you at all.

Now that I've rolled my way over to said music business, can we just talk for a small moment about websites like Sonic Bids? I'm not saying it's all bad, I'm just saying that for the love OF GOD YOU MOTHER FUCKERS! STEAL SOMEONE ELSES MONEY! I FN HATE YOU!

Am I on there? Well yes, gentle viewer, I am . But you see, if I am not on there, I am no longer able to submit to the festivals that were once open to all people online. But no no. Now you must pay $50 dollars when you enter, and you must do so with full knowledge that someone will listen to .5 seconds of your song and if they are feeling it, alright! You're in! If not, thank's for the money! We know you probably work 3 jobs and don't get paid shit when you play your shows, but we really do need the dollars.

And if/when you DO get in, you think...

SO exciting! I will get paid to perform, I'm sure. Or at least comped a drink.

Ahhh, alas gentle viewer. You don't get any of those things. You get a wrist band and a stamp, and maybe a drink ticket but most likely just a good ass fucking. The ass fucking of indifference.

Lovely image, I know.

Sites like that are designed (like all media related monsters) to sell you back your own dream, stick a price tag on your work, and make you buy it.

Your own dream.

It's mindblowing.

But when you get your dream, it's been tampered with. That was not how you built it.

Thanks dream killers.

Here are some picure illustrations of my feelings.

And last but not least, let's end on a good note.

ahhh.

I feel better now.

So my plan is this. F 'em. I believe that the name 'indie' and things labelled 'independant' should be just that. INDE FUCKING PENDANT!

The internet is my bitch, I am not yours and I certainly don't need you to guide me through the process of setting up my online networking, or fan mail, or videos, or whatever for a small fee of shut the hell up. I think that erasing the middle man is one of my goals. The middle is only necessary when it comes to things like oreos and a good threesome. Besides that, who needs em.

--- end rant ---

This rant has been brough to you by bitterness, and Sonic Bids.

xo

Tonella

New Years, Stockings and Nashville.

2011-12-28T05:58:00.000-08:00

New train of thought.

My life will be so full of work and writing that I will not notice that I miss you. I will make proper dinners and quit smoking. I will remember that red wine is a compliment to dinner and socializing, not a buffer against long nights. I will stop talking to my dog like he is a person. I will organize my socks and finally become a woman who has two matching stockings. I will remember that coffee is not a breakfast food.

heh.

No not really. I like missing you, while smoking and swishing red wine. My dog is a person with fur, and who the hell needs matching socks? Seriously. No one sees them, they do the exact same job if one is red and one is blue. My logic is undeniable. Coffee is my FAVORITE breakfast food and that's just fine with me.

<3I believe that this is the year to be submitting to various festivals and doing more touring though. So that will happen, and so mote it be. I also want to have the new album finished by spring, and I'm very very happy that Matthew S is still going to be working with me on this album. He was the lad that got me to crumble on having guitar in the band. I was originally opposed, always referencing in my mind the guitar players I know (no offense boys) that take screeching solos every 2 seconds, finger-walking their way all over everyone's parts

I didn't mean for that to sound as dirty as it does...

Anyway, the moral of the story is I love guitar in the band now, its beautiful and my guitarist racism has been quite cured. Thanks Matt ;).

New album, touring, festivals, and I'm planning on making it up to Nashville this year - These are my new years resolutions.

JINGLE BELL ROCK. avec my lil one. ;)

2011-12-24T09:40:00.001-08:00

Holiday Swarm

2011-12-24T08:52:00.000-08:00

Hello lovelies.

So it's xmas, and it's too cold to breathe outside and the fridge is stocked with vegetable somosa's and apple cider. We all have our own traditions, I suppose. Christmas feels weird this year, most likely because of the move. Changing cities throws my life out of orbit. My planets are following a different path - very surreal.

I wrote this song last night for someone. Cause I miss them, and it helps to write? I don't know. Christmas seems to bring out the sentimental side... just roll with it.

xxx

Merry ho ho. A happier video featuring my little girl singing Jingle Bell Rock will be coming soon.

Two

2011-12-17T19:47:00.000-08:00

There's a hole in my stomach
I think it's where I kept you.
like vines you grew between my soul
and I
Do not recall how it felt to be whole
Apart from the body we made.

There's a hole in my chest
I think its where I withdrew.
The better parts of my anatomy
Do not revive in the absence of you.
And I
Fracture silently
Bones breaking and making their quiet protest
Against this splitting in two.

Mechanical Bird

2011-12-15T09:24:00.000-08:00

Sing little bird.
You hum like nightingales for
A skull is a cage.
A golden door is a
Red exit sign
Sketched over the eye.
The mechanical bird did not design
prison walls to confine.
Me is not myself
and I stands apart from
the feathers and lead
the tiny feet and twitching threads
spell it out.
Am I living yet?

The Art of December

2011-12-07T06:57:00.001-08:00

The holidays are definitely here. I look out the window and I see green grass and grey skies, but I'm more aware than ever that there is an avalanche building up in the sky. Snow, hot chocolate, and too much xmas music. These particular holidays are facing me with my two old enemies: Finding the right gifts for my dear ones and locating vegan eggnog. Lofty goals? Perhaps. But totally worthwhile.

And then of course, there is the new year which approaches rapidly. I am releasing a new album in 2012 called Conversations With Lucifer. It's been in the works for such a long time, being re birthed and re shaped as time progresses. I am also hoping to be able to work with a couple people that I have had my eye on for a while in the way of music, so cross your fingers. I am indeed going to be working out of NB, and I feel oddly hopeful about that. I have a little mini me that is becoming quite the singer herself and I am going to be closer to her. This makes my heart sing more than anything so far - so I think that makes it right. I can always judge the quality of a decision based on the music in my insides. I think it's important to realize that as an artist you have to be open to the inspiration - and sometimes the inspiration is not where you expected to find it. I've spent too much time when I was younger trying to create the muse, but she is a phenomenon unto herself. She finds you when you close your eyes and listen to your insides humming.

Conversations with Lucifer is going to be my baby of 2012. I have it up on bandcamp as a different incarnation but I think you'll all be happy when you see the real thing. Im pushing for March. Let's see if I can make it happen...

2011-12-06T11:04:00.001-08:00

I want a bed with a wicker frame
sunlight that cannot reach my face,
the element of suprise
when daylight erases me.

I want paintings of company,
paper people to agree that loneliness is next to
godliness
And that next to godliness
is nothing.

new songs... ad nauseum.

2011-11-08T18:36:00.000-08:00

I wrote a new song and then layed on a white blanket and played it. That is the video and that was all I had in the way of inspiration. Don't judge.

I rather dig the gee-tar, or more the fact that I am semi-proficient enough to play it. Fake it till you make you, they say? Done. Words to live by. But when do you stop faking it and realize you're making it? I haven't figured that part out yet.

One of my students asked me if my life was sad, since all my songs are sad. Coming from an 8 year old, I suppose it's a valid question. I like to think the songs range in emotional material, but maybe the little one was correct in that assumption.

...

Nah.

Obviously.

2011-10-25T07:25:00.000-07:00

I have discovered that talking out loud to yourself can be highly beneficial. On the other hand, it strongly increases your chances of becoming a crazy cat lady with no friends who yells at traffic cones on the highway. Being the kind of person who was born with some kind of conversational lock jaw, I guess talking to yourself is the way to go. Or writing status updates on facebook... because that's communicating with the world, isn't it?

O.o

I'm moving soon (question mark). Why do I feel like writing when I am about to move? It's the gods of change, pissing on my parade again.

Note to self. Buy umbrella.

Here is my song of the day - This girl chases the blues away.

Bikes without Border

2011-08-08T21:39:00.000-07:00

We are stoked to be playing Thursday evening for this event!

https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=206075889427919

Check it out...

;)

xoxoxo

Free give aways!

2011-05-04T07:28:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone!

Just wanted to blog a little note to you all about the Laundry Tarts! We are working with them for the month of may to help you all get free stuff. The Laundry Tarts is a unique dessert inspired planet friendly company offering a funky spin cycle on everyday laundry products; safe for cloth diapering and all things green. If you go to their facebook page and let them know Tonella Sent You, you will get get entry toward their Grand Prize of their Rainbow of Samples!!!

Also, when you sign up for OUR newsletter and let us know that the laundry tarts sent you you will get a free MP3 Download! xoxo

So go get some Laundry Tart Love. ;)

Get A free Mp3 and Join Tonella's Mailing List!

FOR THE LAUNDRY TARTS CLICK HERE

Cherry Madness, Queer videos and Elementary Schools.

2011-04-11T11:13:00.000-07:00

Alrighty. I've highjacked a computer here in the land of Freddy and I NEEDED to write about a couple things.

A. The CD Release
B. The new song/video "Big City Lie"
C. Elementary Schools

I thought the CD release party was amazing. To everyone who came out - you are fantastic. And Cherry Colas is officially my favorite bar to play. From the owners to the sound guy to the sexy dancer and the over whelming red everywhere (ridiculously sexy) it was perfect. So check out some pics from the evening - they make me a happy kitty. Thank you SO much to Alan and Peter from AusCan Media for filming and photographing (check them out here .

B. The new video!!

I promised I'd post it here, so I am, and you should all watch it. Again, I just wanna stress how important I think it is that our art reflect who we really are and what we care about. As a woman who loves woman, and wants to be honest with art and self, this video means a lot to me.

ALso, Tough Cookies , a blog for young women in the LGBT community has featured the video with a write up from my friend Charity. Check that here

Now, The video....

C. Elementary Schools

My lil girl's elementary school in Fredericton NB made me their composer of the month for March, and has asked me to perform for the school tmrw. Interesting.
I know one little girl who is going to be very excited.

Peace people.
xxx
T

New songs, jetplanes and CD release parties.

2011-04-07T13:35:00.001-07:00

I wrote a new song the other day in the midst of a searing case of pseudo-laryngitus. The rasp in my voice really was the muse for this song, with my ex gf coming in on a close second. But really, every song I write has overtones of some person from the past or present, so nothing new there.

The song wrote itself (with the exception of the instrumentation. I was lucky enough to have Matt's write guitar parts and drums for the tune. And he did film the entire video. BUT what i mean is the actual writing of the song was incredibly organic). Its one of those simple tunes that just breathes out of you because it was meant to be. It's amazing that artists have the ability now to just write and than create the visual accompaniment for that piece of themself that they are putting out there. Sometimes the internet makes me smile.

I digress. The next day I was racking my brain for the right girl to be in this video with me, and being the total genius (recognize.) that I am - I gave my friend (wife) Heather a call (text) and asked if she would grace us with her lovely presence for the vid. She did, and now at the end of editting it all i have to say is..

HELLS YES!
and - Thank you Heather ;) You are lovely.

(and yes it is a bed, but no - not that kind of vid. Although I did contemplate hiring someone to wear a bikini and wash a car in it.... Ill save that for when my hip hop career begins.)

MOVING ON!

It looks beautiful. And I really feel very strongly about this song and about the video as a piece of art. It really seems so foriegn to me that there are no music videos that i can think of that portray the emotion between a same sex couple, even though I'm damn certain that I'm not the only one out there. This video - in whatever extent it reaches people - is really a way for me to be honest with my self and my music. Good times ;).

So that video wiill be invading your computers soon, and I want you all to send it to your friends and get it out there - if you like it, which I think you will.

The TONELLA CD release party is this Saturday at Cherry Colas (200 Bathurst st, Toronto) and it will be bad ass. If you've never been inside it, you NEED to. Its all red velvet and burlseque dancers and sexy bartenders. And we will be there which makes it that much cooler.

Doors are at 9, and we hit the stage at 10. Bring your attitudes and come give me some love ;).

I think this CD party has been in the works for ... way too long.

Let's celebrate.

xxx
T

Spontaneous Simpletons

2011-03-27T12:19:00.000-07:00

Tell us all the answer
We waited, baited breath and spontaneous
Simpletons.
Survived off your mercy till the well ran
Dry – well, now it has drained away.
Dearly departed,
We searched in earnest for your contributions
The meaning you might have given but
Bartered instead with price tags and propaganda
Everyday Inspires –
But we are not exposed to the insight you ignite
Daily dedication to the
Global mind -
We die
Idiots with firearms stapled to our sides.

angry mimes and the velvet underground

2011-03-05T12:40:00.001-08:00

I have a picture for you that was promised in prior burton post...

Hold your breath... and...

bang bang.

I have successfully terrified my room mate with this picture. He lodged a formal complaint, saying I look like a mime you would want to hit with a brick. Is it wrong that I consider this a victory?

We played the Velvet Underground last night thanks to love Vanessa ( check her here )

Had a blast, I shall have some live recordings from last night that I will post on the myspace for you all here

Also!

I have been working on a video for one of the last songs on the album which will very sooon be up for your viewing pleasure. Heres a pic from the shoot... no kidding...

Be afraid. and excited. But mostly af-cited.

xxx
T

Acoustic shows, Sheking and Champagne

2011-02-21T07:34:00.000-08:00

Hi kitty cats

So Last night I played an acoustic show at Slacks Bar - had the priviledge of sharing the stage with She King (et la Acoustic).

It was a ton of fun, I always enjoy my time playing at Slacks. The audience is amazing (i fckn love lesbians - any suprise there?) and the bar in general is just so damn pretty.

I was having a little bit of a flash back on my way home from the gig.

I remember when I first moved to TO and was trying to hard to find a place to play here in this city. I agonized over numbers, trying to book us anywhere , trying to find a "suitable" venue. Well, now I know to just say fuck it and book us anywhere. People always surprise me with this band - they are open and respond to us and for that, I LOVE you guys.

But Slacks will always have a special lil spot in my undersized heart - they were the gateway drug here in this concrete jungle. One of the very first gigs we played in TO as a band was at Slacks. We've changed a lot since that first gig there - different band members, a new album, a twist on the sound.... but god damn. I heart that bar for letting us in.

NOW MORE PICTURES.

NOW - Shawnee from SHE KING who you are probably all oogling - is quite the talented lady. So go check em out heeeeere and give them a look/listen. Youll luv it.

Also - to the adorable couple I met last night celebrating their 9 year anniversary with Champagne (Nancy and Carol) THANK you for the champage and for calling me Billy Idol and Boy George. You made my night.

xxxxxxxxxx
t

Calling you out.

2011-02-18T06:42:00.000-08:00

A little foogtage slpiced together from the last show.

Playing tonight at the Bread and Circus. The very fact that it has Circus in the title makes me fn happy.

If you be of the house of toronto, get your asses out and visit us! Kensington market, bread and circus.

xxxxxxxxxx
t

A little Burton goes a long way.

2011-02-17T19:02:00.001-08:00

So today (as I tweet-boasted) I had the pleasure of being a model for a friend downtown. She is amazingly talented and wanted to do a Tim Burton-esque style of make up on me. Uhhh fuck yes? So i went. And she did. And the Lord said "it is good". Ive gota couple pics to show you - none of the shoot pics but just a lil pre and post peeks.

I couldnt capture too much of the actual process for fear that Tara might want to stab me in the eye with a makeup brush if i kept fidgiting to get my phone. Sooo - because I value my eyesight - I refrained.

However - upon walking into this amazing establishment - I saw this wolfhead by the door and fell in love. I have a deep seeded obsession with doing a re-make of little red riding hood et la macabre style. This wolf made me think of that obsession.

Look at him.
Love him.

Heres a couple shots of some other models:

Official shots coming soon.
Now go subscribe to the youtube channel and tweet to me. I need help with this pop-culture shit.

Tonella Twitter
T-youTube

xxx
t

Another Jet plane.

2011-02-13T06:07:00.000-08:00

The show last night was great at the El Mo - I don't think I've ever seen it quite so packed in there. I had a blast during our set, though it must be mentioned that halfway through our second to last song the sound guy had a malfunction and screaming feedback that sounded like angry devils from the underworld started raping the sound system. It cut us short by a song, but what are you gonna do except take off your shirt and order another drink.

Ill have some footage up soon so you can all revel in the awesomeness that was last night.

Im flying home to NB this morning, leaving in 45 minutes and still have not packed. I believe in taking your time with things.... thinking them through.... underwear and t shirts are big decisions. I will not rush.

Heres a song about going home for ya'll.

xo

Hibernation and Home

2011-02-11T10:29:00.000-08:00

I officially closetted myself in the studio and wrote and recorded for a couple days. Theres nothing like a little manic creativity. Unless it results in you having heart palpatations about leaving your house or even the thought of showering. But that's besides the point.

The POINT is that I finished the song and created a little video (of doom) for it. I am having way too much fun with Premiere... I have a deep unadulterated love for video editting software.

I've had a couple people asking about the head in the video - there are two small clips of it - its actually a manaquin head. Sometimes I talk to it. So why not put it in the video. That same manequin head is definitely going to make its way to the show tomorrow night. Just you wait and see. He/She (Gender is annoying) will be there hanging out with us on stage. Check it.

So tomorrow night we play a show at The El Mo, and Sunday I am flying back to NB. I am dying for some east coast love - even if it's only for two days. I will bask in the beauty of trees and way too much snow, then fly home to play a solo show Tuesday night at the Only Cafe (Danforth and Jones - Toronto).

I leave you with the aforementioned video - Please comment and post along to other people if you dig it.

From all the love in my manic heart to you guys... here it is ;)
x

New Poem.

2010-11-09T13:54:00.000-08:00

Im working on a new poem that chronicles my past relationships by talking about their mouths.

Yah I know. It is what it is. Its not that I have too much time on my hands, its just that Im fucked.

Ill post it soon. Cause i dont give a damn about copyright.

x

Tonella @ the Horseshoe Tavern

2010-10-12T08:40:00.000-07:00

Tonella hit up the Legendary Horseshoe Tavern in TO last night... thanks to all ya crazies that came out!

Kudos to Isaac Rayment for taking some shots. Looky Looky!

The art of Purity.

2010-08-27T11:47:00.000-07:00

:Album Update: Finished first mastering session - next one sched for Tuesday. Almost there, almost there ;).

SO!
I read TOOl lyrics the entire commute to work this morning (yah - 3 hours mf's). If you know me at all, you know that I have a deep and sick adoration for Maynard's brain. Some part of my insides seeeeethe when I hear the music. I still remember listening to A Perfect Circle for the first time and putting Judith on repeat for at least 3 weeks. My teenage angst and religious suppression went wild with TOOL, and the woman in me came all over APC's first album Mer De Noms. I was young and musically naive - all i knew was that something in me sang when he did. Its strange that I was told many times as I was younger how 'wrong' that kind of music was, how damaging it was to you as a person. Now older, bitchier and on most days wiser - I know that the people saying those things were full of shit. They judged something they never even listened to - much the same as they spit out judgment on basically everything that was foreign to their beliefs and patterns.

One of the most important things that music can offer is the ability to shake opinions, beliefs and our current ideas. Life is not about fearfully clinging to what you know, and defending it with bricks of ignorance whenever anyone threatens them. Music should be a catalyst for change, something that makes you feel things, love things, hate things. It takes you somewhere - To good places, to bad places, to in between places. Its about the constant rhythm and movement that is essentially life.

APC and TOOL remind me of that every time I hear them.

From 15 to 27 years old, I'm still crazy about them. Everyone has that band, I'm sure, that they will adore until they die. APC and TOOL (I can't choose) are my 'love forever' music. When I was 17 I decided I wanted 3 Libras played at my funeral. I stand by that decision, 10 years later.

So for three hours I listened to The Pot and Vicarious (the only tool songs on my ipod right now since I accidentally deleted all my music off of it! (FUuuuuuuUUUuuuck you, iTunes! FUCK YOU!)

I can only hope that some part of my music will move people the way that theirs has done to me. I really feel that music is the one pure thing left in this fucked up joint. I am glad to be, in some ways, part of that struggling purity.

x

DREAMING IN RED - the making of.

2010-08-25T10:19:00.000-07:00

Oh dear friends. I am so fckn stoked to say that the album will be released October 1st, 20-andfrickin-10! I wanted to catalog some of the shit we've done in the studio and around.. so here is the beginning of our journey.

CHILTON STUDIOS

THE NATURAL FREQUENCY

The art of Transit.

2010-06-07T10:29:00.000-07:00

Here are my thoughts about transit, as well as my approach to the finer arts of surviving the TTC.

And trust me, it is an art.

Take this morning. I glimpse into the street car and it is jam packed with bodies. Packed. There are so many human beings in this machine that they practically are oozing out of the windows. Because I am perpetually late and somewhat unstable, I decide that I must join this breathing mass of skin and metal instead of waiting for another car.

However, I have a technique for dealing with this madness now. I name the people near me on the streetcar so that I can feel like we are friends. That way it’s not quite as uncomfortable when my crotch is 2 inches away from Mary's face and John the banker is breathing down my neck while screaming about deadlines on his blackberry. It’s not quite so irritating when Fiona gives me dirty looks when my book bag checks her repeatedly in the stomach. Hey, I feel bad - but Fiona knows how it is.

Fucking street cars.

(Transiting takes 3 hours of my day, everyday.
So stop complaining about traffic, folks.
Just sayin.)

I change from streetcar to Subway to Go Train.

The Go-Train is where I choose someone to fall in love with on the way to work. Sometimes the choices are slim - like when I’m the only one in that car. Then I try not to fall asleep - the one time I did that on public transit I woke with a man sitting beside me, breathing about 3 inches away from my face. It was more than disconcerting.

There are always good days to fall in love on the Go-Train though. Like the day I met the brown-haired-artist-girl. Usually I swoon silently for 20 minutes, and then move on. That day, there was conversation. She paints and likes Jack Russell Terriers. She has a teenage mutant ninja turtles bag. All this equals way too cute.

As the lovely Amanda Jardine pointed out: Go train = Ho train. Whoot whoot.

Rinse, repeat on the way home.

This is my transiting day.
♥

Random note? Haircut day is Thursday. It’s getting chopped.

Kisses.

The art of Hawk

2010-06-01T11:44:00.000-07:00

Mohawks.

Lets talk about them. Lets talk about why they are hot. Lets also talk about why I may get one.

Now im NOT talking this -->

Cause to be honest, I kind of want to tie him up to a boat and see if he could be the sail. I'm not saying I wouldn't crack a beer and share it with him, I'm just saying I would call him Flappy and he would help propel my amazing sail boat through the water.

Now, lets leave Flappy out of it and continue on.

(I should also specify that I am talking hawks on the ladies). Yes, I cream myself for a good hawk, and Ill take your cliche and raise it with a Please Touch Me There. But I must say, there should really be a pie chart to go along with the hawks.

When one considers a hawk, I think they immediately consider...

1. How hardcore will this be?

2. How not hardcore will this be?

3. Will this make someone want to hit me in the face with a brick?

4. and so on.

CLEARLY... there are choices.

These different looks seem to send different messages! One may want to buy you a pitbull and dangle from hooks with you in front of a beautiful sunset, and one may want to drink lattes with you and talk about wheatgrass shakes. I dont know. Just saying.

I don't really want to do either of those things - I would more or less want to drag you to the beach and have a swinging contest in the park. I think the choice of hair im going for will not necessarily portray this, but I can live with that. The cross between hardcore and faux-hawk is where Im headed.

All I can do is hope that in this land there will still be soy lattes and white kittens. And for christ's sake, some GOD damn air conditioning.

xo

Lazarus Lady.

2010-05-03T19:22:00.000-07:00

Welcome back.

Dirty guitar and distorted piano, bleach and bachelor pad. I now have a red and black kitchen and two cats that will not venture from under the bed. I also possess an easy clean litter box that is baffling me. It seems far from easy to me, which is kind of embarrassing. I consider myself intelligent - but ultimately an impatient lil fucker.

I HAVE MOVED! Queen street east - Love it. Its the new gayborhood and im infatuated with the shops and the people here. I also have high hope for the cats (names: Lucifur and Daemon. Respect.) that they will join me from under the bed and love me. Cross your fingers.

We are going into the studio Thursday and recording cello tracks. Gonna sound good - wwhoot.

Thats all. Im headed to take a bath in an oversized tub and read a trashy book. Hellz yah.

xo

we need your help!

2010-03-22T09:01:00.000-07:00

Our manager Isaac Rayment worked on this commercial (as well, our deareset drummer Adam Doige was an actor in it) and we need you al l to go watch the commercial, rate it, link it, post it, and send it to all your people (oh we know you got people), They are a bit of the underdogs in that theyve got a late start, but the more people who watch the better chance they have on winning this contest.

we love you.
THANK YOU!

Faceless - watch it!

2010-03-20T12:36:00.000-07:00

In celebration of the new music vid that will be done soon (so pumped!) Im re-posting our faceless vid. It needs more views! Please support the tunes friends! pass it along and make sure to listen to the myspace tunes as well (remember - EP out this summer. Hells yah!)

So! Hats off to the new music video...Till then - watch this ;)

the invention of time.

2010-03-19T07:40:00.000-07:00

Dear life.

You suck.

Love,

Tonella.

music video and total exhaustion

2010-03-15T21:23:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow we are shooting a music video for the song "mercy eyes".

I am stupidly tired and feel like drop kicking someone in the head, but Im excited for it.

That is all.

Roads to Relevence.

2010-03-08T12:59:00.000-08:00

We spent the last week on a road trip to the east coast - driving "home" (I use the word home so loosely - Im not sure I know what it means anymore) from "home".

We were almost to kingston when we decided that maybe we should stop in Kingston to.. get some rest (!) for the drive home as it was already 6 in the evening. The words "roast" and "whisky" were also used to give this argument validity, which honestly were the joint nails in the coffin for me.

Somehow we ended up drinking copious amounts of wine and bar hopping from one place to the next - it was all very mysterious. Well, the copious amounts of wine was not mysterious, but how the hell we ended up in all the places we did was definitely a riddle. My memory gets hazy as the night progressed but I do remember the first spot we landed at. It was a fantastic joint called "the mansion', where we saw a band (Mr Something Something) from Toronto playing. I rather enjoyed them, despite some protest from my comrades.

They are an Afro-beat/Funk band - I was a little apprehensive at first, but I think they are fairly solid. Check them out and see what you think. If you're in the mood for some happy tunes with soul, I'd say they will treat you right. If white guys playing Afro-beat-funk pisses you off, run away and hide. ;)

SO! the next morning we were all massively hung over and realized it wasn't morning anymore - we left around 1 pm. I usually regret my life choices the next day but I've made peace with that.

We arrived in freddy safe and sound, so all is well that ends well.

I had an interview on Thursday with Angele from The Diner - Fredericton's university radio station. It was great - Im always a fan of interviews. Though for the first half hour I just talked to myself and sang songs - so for those of you who checked it out, be kind. I thought the entire thing was going to be an interview - I didn't realize I'd be telling y'all stories for the first 30 minutes.

(BTW - there is footage from the interview that I will be uploading soon. SO! stay tuned.)

THE SHOW THURSDAY NIGHT - was fanfuckingtastic. I had a blast! I shared the eve with Pamela Pachael who was great. Love her material, and the crowd loved her too.

I was absolutely blown away by how amazing everyone was - I had a blast playing! Everyone made me feel HOME that night - and i love them all for that.

AWESOME night. Awesome trip.

Arrived "home" safe and sound - and ready to rock TO with our latest addition to the band... I will tell you all about later, promise promise.

Kiss.

The art of Epic.

2010-02-15T18:02:00.001-08:00

I wanted to tell you all about the evening I had at Les Coquette "love Story". In order to do this, I feel I must share a photo taken from the evening of the action - IN - action.

Oh those Les Coquette girls. Hot. What more can be said? I was beyond happy to be a part of the event - and to see these ladies running around before the show (mwahahah. The joys of being a musician). The Les Coquette Burlesque troop puts on an amazing show.. proof of that would be in their double sold out show.

Now, I was in another room with the ever talented and extremely amazing Daniela Aum. My keys were set up and I was surrounded by cupcakes and wine.. yes, alot like heaven. Next to me was this artist extrodanaire, who was painting my voice as I sang.

She blew my mind. In figurative reality, my mind was all over the wall. The energy of this woman is beautiful - 2 minutes after I met her I was gushing to manager Isaac about how I felt I had met her before - in a previous life and whatnot.

Daniela sold both of the paintings that she did that night to my voice before the last show was over.

Being able to connect to someone that way while singing was a first for me - I normally connect with people as I see them and sing. This was entirely different - a channeling of energy if you will, but also being a reciprocal for the energy.

It was amazing.
Thanks to everyone that made it out!

xo

Please go visit Daniela's page and become a fan. She is amazing!
Click!

And check out those fn hot folks at Les Coquette - theyll blow your mind! hot hot hot

The day the world fell together.

2010-02-12T23:10:00.000-08:00

Facts.

I do not understand the concept of moderation.
Tomorrow I am playing at the Les Coquette Burlesque Love Story show.
I have moments of brilliance in between the hours of 12 - 3 am.

I'm still bouncing with small amounts of joy at the fact that I happened to see Dr. Draw play a bit tonight. Through the mighty miracles of text and transit, I made my way to the Steam Whistle Brewery where they were having a benefit event for the Olympics. My job was fairly simple - maul my better half who was also working the event (ha) and turn some shiny lights on and off. Oh, and observe people in expensive suits eating tiny food on tiny platters, talking about tiny things with tiny... ahem. But lovely to hear DD play the violen - cause friends, the boy can play.

TONELLA music news...

9 songs mixed.
NINE.

Two are up on the myspace (Call You Out and Dreaming In Red) and I think you should go listen to them.

xox

The witching hour of my brilliance is drawing to an end, and I need beauty sleep. Tomorrow Im performing with Torontos sexiest Burlesque troop and having an amazing visual artist paint my voice while I sing. I actually just grinned when I wrote that - thats how happy it makes me.

mwah people. Go listen to the music, tell me your thoughts.

Memory

2010-02-10T20:27:00.000-08:00

Memory.

I crack and mutter curses to the smiling
angels in my way -
They get taller every day.
Demons in dresses
with halos and half hearted advances
they corner my good intentions
and censor reasoning.

Its hard to build a home for
honesty.
Its slips under the doors and cuts
holes in my foundations.

I paid for memories,
but they betrayed me -
Now god and his wings will not
let me
forget me.

Tribe and carrying the cameras.

2010-02-04T08:28:00.000-08:00

Cold hard facts:

I am getting the staredown from an annoyed coffee shop employee.
I am not a website guru.
I do not own one pair of socks that match (check feet - confirmed).
I like the top best.
I do not have the committment required to rock a high heeled boot.

Finally finished the basic site for TRIBE. YESSSS, excited about it. After doing music for so long and clawing my way up the proverbial ladder with my extremely short finger nails, I think it will be awesome to be able to help other artists who are trying to do the same. Tribe - Music Marketing and Managing company that Isaac and I are setting up. The amount of talented individuals involved in this project blows my mind. (Bang Bang) We have some amazing producers, photographers, web designers, audio engineers and a plethera of other people involved in this.

I feel honored to work with them all.

And!
Back into the cold streets of downtown TO now. I get to wander into a fancy hotel and carry camera gear. Its funny what kind of places you can get into when you are carrying a camera and tripod - no one even questions. :P hmmmmmm....

xo

The Run Around

2010-01-29T17:43:00.000-08:00

I have noticed over time that it seems Im in a race. I didn't enter it. I didn't recieve a sticker with my name on it, and theres certainly no one cheering me on with paper cups of water to revive me when im feeling like throwing my sneakers at the neighborhood cats. But nontheless - I race.

Its odd the dedication that I prescribe to this unknown race. The amount of time I spend to get to the next moment - only to spend that moment getting to the next moment - and on and on ad infinium.

Is it all due to the programming that occured in/to me throughout my life? (for instance - the idea that we must do all we can to please god, because this world is going to be destroyed. Spend all your time doing things that will make it better for you when your dead. Its all about the afterlife. ha.) Possibly. And though I love to take holy road and ascribe blame to the church and its many misguided followers (getting the strap at your christian school for wearing lipstick makes for great stories on the therapists couch), I think it goes deeper than that.

This endless ideal that we are chasing sometimes becomes so ambiguous I think half the time we are chasing absolutely nothing. Like some poor half whit whos cruel friends entered him in a marathon and hes not even sure where or why its happening. Seriously - pause and consider. How much time do you spend doing something in preparation for something else? And then when that something else comes, you're already planning and getting ready for some other "something else".

This is some serious bullshit.

I want to take time and smell the fucking flowers, and all I seem to do is get to the flowers and realize - holy shit, I was supposed to plant some roses. Guess I need to go get rose seeds from Nim Naws Everything Store and plant them. Oh and the color of this flower reminds me that I need to repaint my room. Its just not bright enough. And speaking of paint - I really need to make an account for the band on CBC.

(in my mind, this progression of thought seems logical).

Its not that I don't believe in goals - truely I do. I just think that at some point one should be able to relax and not be assaulted by the next step. Focus on the moment.

Because to boil it all down, I really beleive the future does not exist. The past does not exist.
Right now, all that exists is essentially right now.

So - im going to drink my tea and attempt enjoy the
Now.

xo

check it out) I think it will be interesting – and in my research of this channel for my own benefit (I have nightmares of sitting in an interview chair stammering “uhhhh uhhh uhhh”, turning several shades of purple and finally bursting into tears while yelling for my mom) I found that Dr. Draw had actually been on this show before. Last year I was a glorified tech for a show that he played at – and it was basically a religious experience. Picture 6 or 7 bodies packed on a tight stage, the majority of which playing some type of stringed instrument (harp, cello, upright bass). Godly. Fronting this mayhem of string glory is Dr Draw, a tall blonde cat shredding on the electric violin – I think every woman and most men there were ready to throw their undergarments at him and swear allegiance. Ok. Maybe just me. The point was, it was amazing.

Check him out. click

So, happy days – tomorrow I do the interview with LL and also in the evening TONELLA will play our final show at Graffitis. Its been a bit of a stress-mess trying to do the promoting for the shows. January seems to be a month of balls. Not volley balls or those fun multicolor ones that you slide into in those kid parks – but the gross kind. But the people who have come out to the shows have been amazing, and I love em. God, I even love the ones who don’t come. But I do want them to come. All want you all to come. Many many times.
Moving on.
I went to the grocery store tonight to buy some weekly staples, and happened upon this monster cheese block. I feel that I have been jipped the majority of my life, not knowing that you could buy cheese in family size. WHAT THE HELL! This is amazing!
xo

ill give you something to sing about.

2010-01-23T18:52:00.000-08:00

yes... this is me continuing to blog. But today i do it in poem. I cannot shake this obsession with the dreaming theme... so for those of you who follow along, well heres another poem along those lines. And may I just add, we recorded this song this weekend in the studio and it is sounding fantastic! Kinda made me wanna hug a stranger. Till I walked outside and actually saw a stranger. Then I figured it would just be weird. Im rambling again, arnt I? poem time.

I watch you sweating in silence,
holding your patterns in the
palms of her hand,
Each print a miracle in glass.
and
I would hold you closer if I could
swallow all of you with one drink.

Noone is safe here,
in this market of heart.

The statistics show.

2010-01-14T09:25:00.000-08:00

I made big claims about my new resolutions - but basically I had the same ones as every other homosapian out there. Well, I imagine anyway that the vast majority of us all had the same thoughts - Stop drinking, quit smoking, hit the gymn, travel more, floss daily... pay outstanding fines for driving with no insurance, pay my multiple parking tickets that I can't seem to find anywhere...Stop ending up drunk and scribbling poetry on the back of other peoples notebooks and belongings...

And so on.

The road to the liquor store is paved with good intentions and a pocket of meticulously counted change. Thats not to say I went to the liquor store - no no. I did however, polish off a bottle of wine, and some pre-frozen, now thawed and entirely flat beer. I also foolishly dove into a box of brandy beans and hoped that the small amount of alchohal coated in dark chocolate would be a suitable substitute for a tall glass of brandy.

No luck - it was delicious but completely void of alcholic relief.

The point of this admission is to say that new years resolutions are bullshit. Statistics show that somewhere in the vicinity of 97% of New Year's resolutions won't be kept(Im not sure whos statistics these are but you know how it is. Throw the word statistic on it and everyone respects the statement, no matter how ridiculous it is)

In other news. Statistics show that if you come see the band this Tuesday at Graffitis your sex life will improve by 92%. A small study conducted off the coast of Arkansas shows that your metabolism will be increased by a rate of .203h78 - this is very important.

Come to the show. Those statistics don't lie.

more importantly, would this face lie?

Say nothing

2010-01-09T22:50:00.001-08:00

Aint no fckn sunshine till shes gone

2010-01-09T16:29:00.000-08:00

Ponderings -

I hope that this little piece of writing finds you all at home, safe in your beds with your loved one tucked in close beside you, some exotic herbal tea sitting on a coaster with a picture of an orange cat on it. Maybe even some smooth jazz in the background, with the heat cranked to a sublime 20+. Maybe your alarm clock set to 6 AM, so you can get up in time to do some yoga before work.

Fuck that.

In reality, I hope that you are chain smoking, leaning over a rickety desk - on the verge of finishing some new literary masterpiece. I hope that you have no paper left and are scribbling poetry on the back of supermaket receipts, and that you are going to turn all your 2010 despair into a new screen play that will rock the shit out of the film world. I hope that you are watching ted.com and realizing that there is more to life then tv dinners and the latest reality tv show. I hope you are planning on leaving the city you were born in before you die.

I dont, however, hope that you are homeless - this weather is like the devil on PCP. I sometimes wonder how I can be a true Canadian while loathing the cold with every fibre of my being. Is there not something wrong with that?

BAND UPDATE -

We played at Grafittis on Tuesday night and it was lovely. Despite being a week day AFTER new years, there were still lots of smiling (intoxicated) faces and that made me smile inside for a long time. Reminder - we play there for the remaining Tuesdays in January. COME OUT! Show the love! I wanna see you. If you read this can you come out to the show, I will write you a song on the spot with your name in it. Code word - Ziont.

No lie.

Ill Do it.

Writing music in a house thats under construction is a little like trying to make love to a store window mannequin. Seems like a good idea but the end result? Hard, plasticy and unresponsive.

Stay tuned for the video blog - coming up soon.

and by the way? Music video and Studio recording happening this month. love it.

Stop the rocking

2009-12-10T12:23:00.000-08:00

Snow falls here in the land of mapleleafs and disgruntled subway riders. Its cold and I have one thing to say - where have all the cowboys gone? Honestly. I need to know.

So January fast approaches, make sure that ya'll make it out to our shows at Grafittis (every tuesday - hell yes).

Ill leave you with some holiday advice:

1. Always say yes when you are asked if you would like more Turkey. One can never eat enough Turkey. Unless your a vegetarian - and if this is the case, then say yes and give it to someone else. Its christmas, after all. Share the love.

2. Do not get wasted and hit on your brothers wife. And especially, do not get drunk and hit on your brother.

3. Wrap your gifts in newspaper for extra pity points. This may just get you more Turkey.

Thats pretty much all I've got for you.

That and a bunch of love. and Tonella Pins.

xoxo

gangsters paradise?

2009-12-04T08:17:00.001-08:00

I think it should be made public knowledge that I have recently discovered my latent gifts for freestyling. So next time your at a show, and you want to have a war, well. I'm just letting you know - it has been brought.

We have a new site up now, www.tonellamusic.com. In no time at all its going to rock off your socks and possibly whatever undergarments you may be wearing. Ill send some updates via our Internet carrier pigeons to let you all know when its good to go! In the meantime, please remember to go the MySpace and give it some love. It loves you back, and isn't that a much easier relationship to maintain then some you may be currently having? Hmm. Don't let your partner see you answer that.

I've decided it is fair to assume x mas is truly the most awful time of the year UNTIL you get to one certain moment on the D day itself. That moment where your sipping alcoholic eggnog and are too sedated to realize that there are small children climbing you like an old decaying pine tree, digging their tiny toes in your softer organs, and that the relatives who came to visit are still trying to set you up with a nice man to marry, and that the mountain of dishes has your name on it and perhaps also your futures name on it. Oh, and you also can conveniently forget that you spent every last dollar you had buying presents that made your nieces and nephews cry.

I kid... I kid. X mas is a great time. A lovely time, full of warmth and giving and charity. A pagan holiday bastardized in the name of a wailing holy child - ahhh. It makes my heart get a little warm thinking about it.

I leave you with this amazing trailer. True, i haven't seen it... but if the opening line "Santa, satan's other brother..." isn't enough to lure you in, I don't know what gonna do it for you.

xo

cause for castration

2009-11-30T10:38:00.000-08:00

The dilemna is - one must first learn to spell the word dilemna.

I just wanted to say briefly that we are selling merch now on our myspace and we have some killer thongs. If anyone is looking for some stocking stuffers for mom - what says I love you better than a Tonella Thong all in white? I know I would be delighted ;). Or if we need to abide in the land of PG, well christ, there are some buttons. Go get some and decorate your room mates book bag with them - they will love it.

Today is one of those days that I will slide back and forth between the looming shadow of stress, bills and the unknown (for instance, can one hitchhike to Fredericton from Toronto for xmas? we shall see!) and the expectation of all the awesome things on the way. The new album, the tour, the shows, so on.

What can I say? Life is beautiful.

Now - go listen to our song on myspace 'sleeping with enemies'. ;)
GO HEAR THE NEW SONG

xo

just your average every day normal....

2009-11-28T20:03:00.000-08:00

Just your average everyday normal... 26 year old, rainbow toting, role-reversing, small town roots, big city reach, punked out, piano playing woman. Or average every day normal mother fucker (oh Jon Lajoie) but of course as the saying goes, 'you say tomato...'.

This is the beginning of a series of blogs that I will be writing to follow the journey of this crazy band, and my life inbetween. And honestly, inbetween the sheets (music and non-musical ones), job related woes, threats of imenant homelessness, and approaching tour - I feel like theres alot to say.

So intro that this is, I'll leave you with the new music video for 'Faceless' - this song is our new single, done et la Rehearsal Style. Our manager and producer Isaac Rayment filmed and edited this for us, and god damn it, Id say he did a bloody brilliant job.

Kiss. Subscribe to this blog kids. Take the candy, get in the van. You know you want to.